We’re all a little dumber when we’re impaired by various substances. We have loose lips, or we sleep around, or we actually hurt people. Not an excuse, but a reason.
Some people like to wave away some kinds of sexual assault because the assailant was impaired, as if this gives someone a free pass.
I’ve done dumb stuff (not that kind of stuff; mostly saying mean shit) after drinks. And I deserve the shame and scorn it has brought upon me.
If you think you might do something shitty, either don’t take that drink, or stay home. And if you’re prone to repulsive behavior when you do a particular thing, either stop yourself, or remove the cause of it. Ideally, investigate the cause and root out the bad behavior, but the easy way is not to take that drink etc.
I doubt I’ll ever become completely free of saying not-that-kind things on a night out. But there’s no anger left in them, and we’re a long way from how things once were.
The point I’m making here on this random post is simple: the responsibility is always with the transgressors. For small things and for big ones too.