I had a really racist friend growing up. I mean like he really found black people inferior. He didn’t use slurs so I didn’t really recognize it much at the time. I was a pretty naive kid who wanted everyone to like him. But I mean, this dude was basically Steve King. But because he’d known me since we were little, all the stuff he said didn’t faze me. Homophobic and sexist too. And he eventually became a cop, which he quit after a while because he thought cops were dumb. I don’t really care about him (he sent me a facebook request last year which I ignored), but I wonder how many people, in a very white space, were actually pretty racist but thought they couldn’t be because they spoke to me regular. For how many people was I the token or the buffer? It happened in dating, too, being told, “you know my parents would never be okay with this,” as if this was something useful to say. I was probably a lot angrier about all of this at the time than I realized. In retrospect, being a black guy in white spaces carries its own trauma. White friends, don’t think that knowing one or two of us excuses things you think about the rest of us. Anti-racism is really your responsibility, not ours. Please do the work needed to support us. Unfortunately we still aren’t in a position to do it by ourselves.
Happy to run a strong race this morning. Not under 6, but wasn’t expecting that. Ran smart, consistent, 6:05, 6:01, 6:17 (Cat hill, booo) and then dropped to 5:55. And that was without really fully training. Will be sure to push it these next four weeks. PRs will be set in 2019.
I feel much more plugged into the broader education world of late. And I no longer feel ashamed that I’m not a public school teacher. I still think “adult educator” sounds like it’s X-rated and wish we had a different name, but the fact is, there isn’t really one, so that’s how it’s going to be. Follow me @JPBGerald, people.
Someone sign Harper and Machado already.
I guess after you win the WS you don’t need to have a bullpen?
A year ago at this time I truly didn’t think I’d get into my program. Now it’s just… normal. And I’m very excited I get to actually do a pilot study this spring.
Speaking of which, I had been drifting away from the TESOL field since I got my current job (professional development/employee training). But I realize that my disinterest has never been in the field but in the linguistics/language acquistion side thereof. It’s just never resonated with me. But there’s a lot, a lot, a lot of room in TESOL for racial activism, since it’s still a very white field that could stand to evolve. I’m coming back to TESOL (I’m not quitting my job, I mean in my study focus), and I’m going to change the field.
I would say that one of my most harrowing racial experiences was the week I spent knocking on doors for Save the Children. Developments make people feel like the rest of the world shouldn’t interfere, and boy did those people find me repellent. They didn’t train us at all for the racism we would experience, and the sad thing was I was a five mile drive from my college campus (not that they knew that). Add that to my friend I wrote about above, and it took me until the last couple of years, in professional treatment, to unpack the impact that these many microaggressions had on me.